Sooo many things go rushing through your mind as tests are being performed on your daughter....the waiting....and waiting.....only to find out we need to wait longer Not moments or hours but days. Most of the tests run on Halie are clear. There is one .... the bone scan that shows what appears to be a lesion on her bone in her leg. The MIBG (this scan targets Neuroblastoma cells) is just fuzzy in that same area. Her doctor calls this inconclusive...meaning there isn't enough information to determine relapse or no evidence of disease. Therefore, we wait for a month then do another bone scan. Please pray for us as we walk through this month. As her doctor says..prepare for the worst news yet hope (but we say PRAY) for the best.
So today....the day we fly off on Halie's "Make a Wish" vacation swimming with the dolphins....we will enjoy the laughter and family time. Pray for us as we journey to embrace and enjoy the 10,000 little moments of delight and wonder each day. And as John Piper says...."I will talk to my tears." Yes, my heart is heavy but the Lord knows...as I remind myself of the post early this summer:
God will sustain us and we are continuing to look to Him for our strength to face whatever challenges the future holds. For me as a Mom, the future is at times so full of hope and I am so thankful for all that God has taught me on this journey and yet their is always that fear..... What if it comes back???? I am learning to give it to He on whom we have set our hope. He alone holds her (all of us in His hands) and I have to press forward. Not without fear mind you but with a confidence not in myself but in the One who is my Hope. You see what He has shown me this year is that I am going to fall short, I am going to give in to my fear at times and be overwhelmed by my lot in this life but, in His kindness He will lift me up, He will carry me, strengthen me and lavish His love on me, He will remind me that this is not our home. You see he remembers that I am but dust and that without His living breath in my life I cannot live the life He has called me to. So, whatever the future holds for us we will walk in confident trust in Him who holds all things together. He is our Hope. --- Now, please remind me of that in July when we scan....;)
Thank You Lord for using the words of this post to remind me! Please continue to pray!
